Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
