we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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