how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize