I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
