yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Found the puke drawer
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
