So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
