How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
