look no pants
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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