If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
