Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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