I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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