im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
