Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
