this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
