the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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