last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
