The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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