Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
