My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
