He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
