You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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