We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
