So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
