If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
