I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize