True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
