he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
