Got a toothbrush?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize