very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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