i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
