I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He uses pillows to masturbate.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
