next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
