Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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