I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
