omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize