idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
