Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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