Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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