I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize