Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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