I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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