do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
