New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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