I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize