Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
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