haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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