You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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