oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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