we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
