I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
