Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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