No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
