we have officially lost it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Welp...herpes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
