Will you blow on my dice?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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