Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
