sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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