I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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