there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
how drunk are you?
Several
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
