I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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