captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
