New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
