You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
