Don't you send me to vm
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
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OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
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Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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