You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this boner is exhausting
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
