he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
