We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
