I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
