paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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