Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
