In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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